“Slow! I wanna wave to daddy!” Teddy yells at Sawyer who laughs and indulges my son’s request. I turn to wave also and then I urge Teddy to sit down in his booster seat so that I can strap him in. We chatter happily in the backseat and I tickle him and he squeals with joy. I love my little man. He looks so much like his father. He has my eyes, but that is as far as the resemblance between the two of us goes. He tells me how he and Gail found a turtle in the backyard and he wants to keep it.
“Well we’ll talk to daddy about that.” I laugh and a second later the breath is knocked out of me when something hits the back of the car and jerks us forward. Teddy screams and I look over at him and run my hand through his hair. “It’s alright. Mommy’s here. Hush baby boy. Everything is going to be ok.” I look at Sawyer in question. He has stopped the car and is looking in horror out the back window for a long moment before he springs into action. I turn slowly, dreading what I will see behind me. I look out the back windshield and take in the horrifying scene behind me. When I register what I see I let out a scream. Christian’s SUV has been hit on the driver’s side. Sawyer is helping a dazed Taylor out of the passenger side so that can only mean that Christian was driving. Oh God please let him be alright. Please let him be alive. Please don’t take him away from us. I pray silently as I open my door and call for Sawyer so that he can bring Taylor over to sit down and so that he can calm Teddy while I go check on my husband.
We settle Taylor in the car and then I turn back to the wrecked SUV and Mercedes that has my husband trapped. “Mrs. Grey maybe you should go get back in the car.” Sawyer gently takes my arm and I yank away from him. I slowly walk to the car and climb through the passenger door. When I see him I immediately begin to cry. The white car has caused the door to bend inward and it is crushing the left side of his body. His head is on the steering wheel and I don’t know how bad the wound is, but all I can focus on is the blood that is steadily dripping from it in a thin stream. I feel a presence behind me.
“Did you call for help?”
“Yes ma’am. The paramedics are on their way. Mrs. Grey please, let me in so I can see what I can do to help. Your son is crying. He needs you. Go to him and let me help Mr. Grey.”
I want to protest, but there is nothing I can or know how to do. The best thing I can do for my husband right now is get out of the way and go and care for our son. Teddy. My baby needs me. I slowly slip from the car and I begin to walk back to my own when I hear a soft, “Christian?” I look over and I see that bitch troll of a woman Elena. She looks at me with glazed over eyes, but I don’t think she really sees me. “I didn’t mean to hit him. I was after you and that bastard son of yours. I never understood how he could take care of a son that probably isn’t even his or how he could forsake me for you. I wanted you to pay for what you took from me, but Christian has always acted so foolishly when it came to you.” She is crying now as she gazes back at the car. I am seething with hurt and rage. The bitch did this on purpose! She was trying to kill me and ended up hurting Christian instead. She was trying to hurt Teddy. I don’t remember when I moved or how I got in front of her, but suddenly I was there and before I could stop myself, my hand curled into a fist and I punched her so hard I felt her teeth loosen under my hand. When she fell to the ground I began to kick her in the side and in the face. How the hell could she do this? How could one person be so evil?! He didn’t deserve this!
“MRS. GREY! Ana stop! If you don’t stop now you’ll kill her and you will serve no one any purpose in jail. Think of Teddy. Think of Phoebe.” I clutch my stomach and back away. I am in Taylor’s arms and he is carrying me back to my car. I climb in the backseat and Teddy launches himself onto my lap. I sit there and hold him and cry. I can’t tell him that everything will be alright because I would lie to him. I don’t have the heart to tell him that his daddy is lying in a car injured badly so I say nothing. We sit there for what seems like ages before the paramedics finally arrive.
“Taylor you should go get checked out.”
“I’m fine Ana. I just have a bruise on the head. I’ll be alright. I just pray now for Mr. Grey.” There is fear in his voice. I can’t look back, but I can hear everything they are doing. They are using the Jaws of Life to get him out of the car. Sawyer is instructing the police that the woman lying on the ground intentionally caused this wreck, but she hit the wrong car. After listening for a few minutes more I learn that Elena was intoxicated well beyond the legal level. A knock on the window makes me jump and Sawyer opens the door.
“They got him out Ana and he’s still alive.” I sigh in relief at that. He may be hurt, but at least he is still with us. The pain can be fixed. He will live. “He has a broken leg, a broken shoulder and there has been some damage done to his skull. They will do a full scale check of the injuries, internal and external, once we get to the hospital. You ok?” He looks over at Taylor and asks.
“I’m fine. Let’s go,” and we drive away staying close to the ambulance. Staying close to my reason for living.
I am sitting in the cozy waiting room where I have been sitting for the last three hours holding my son and rubbing my stomach. I have been joined by Grace, Carrick, Mia, Ethan, Elliot, Kate, and Ray. I have been on and off the phone with my mother keeping her updated on everything that is happening. Grace has gone back several times, but each time they were still working on Christian so we all just gave up and decided to wait. The waiting is killing me. I am sitting nursing a cold cup of tea that has been in my hand for God only knows how long. Someone takes it out of my hand and replaces the cup with their hand. I am not sure who it is. I am staring at the wall mindlessly. I can’t speak. I can’t eat. I am scared out of my mind. The only thing that anchors me is my son who has fallen asleep on my lap. I am about to give up all hope when a deep voice says, “Christian Grey.” Everyone stands together except me. I motion for Grace to take Teddy and I walk over to the doctor. “Mrs. Grey?”
“Yes. How is my husband? Is he alright?”
“He’s going to be fine. We put everything back together. His shoulder, his leg and his knee were all broken on the left side. Whoever hit him must have been going pretty damn fast. He has a crack in his skull from where I assume his head must have hit the steering wheel. It caused some swelling to his brain, but don’t worry. We have been monitoring if for the past three hours and the swelling has gone down and continues to decrease and retreat back to normal every hour. We’re going to move him to a private suite and then you’ll all be able to see him. We’re just going to have to let time do its job and let him wake up when he’s ready. I’ll be back out in a few minutes to let you know where we move him to.”
I cry silently through the entire speech. “Thank you. Thank you so much for saving him.” At this point I am not sure who I’m thanking more, the doctor or God himself. I assume the credit goes to both. The doctor nods and walks back through the double doors. I crumple to the floor and sob.
“Ana! Ana what did he say?” I look up to see everyone surrounding me.
“He’s alright. He’s alive and they’ve taken care of him. He’s going to live.” Mia and Kate sink to the floor and embrace me as they too cry along with me. I look up and realize that everyone is in tears, including Taylor and Sawyer. “Sawyer, please call Ryan and ask him to come and pick up Teddy and take him to Mrs. Taylor. He’s tired and when he wakes up he may be hungry.”
“Yes ma’am right way.”
By the time Teddy is taken care of, the doctor has come back out to let us know where Christian is and we all head that way. He has been placed in a spacious room that looks more like a hotel room. It has cabinets everywhere, a bathroom, a closet, a sink by the door, a large flat screen T.V. on the wall, and a huge window with a beautiful view of Seattle. His bed is not even a standard hospital bed, but a queen sized bed with a plush mattress, fluffy pillows, and an over-stuffed comforter. It looks heavenly and I bet it feels even better because it’s freezing in here. I go over to his bedside and I take his right hand and sink down in the fluffy chair next to his bed. I feel much more peaceful now that I am by his side. The hours drag on and we all sit in silence and watch television until about one in the morning.
“I think we had better go.” Carrick announces as he stands and holds Grace’s hand. “Everyone looks pretty tired and it won’t be safe for any of us to drive after a while.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you all tomorrow. Please bring Teddy when you come back. He’ll be missing us. Is it alright if he sleeps with you and Gail?” I turn and ask Taylor.
“He’ll be with Gail. I’m not leaving.”
“Neither am I,” Sawyer chimes in.
“Annie you should go home and get some sleep.”
“If I were lying there he wouldn’t leave me. So I’m not leaving him.” They all say their goodbyes and head home. Taylor and Sawyer discreetly exit the room most likely to stand as body guards outside the door. I stand and push the chair out of the way and go over to get one of the cots from by the window. I grab a blanket and a pillow from one of the cabinets and then I lie down and fall asleep holding his hand.
I open my eyes to a very bright room with sunlight streaming in. Both of my hands are folded under my head and I am in the fetal position. I don’t even need anyone to tell me that I look like a child. I yawn and sit up and I look over at Christian. I let out a short, but high pitched shriek when I am met by his gray eyes. How the hell did he gain consciousness back so fast? He is looking at me intently as if he has never seen me before. I can’t take the silence any longer so I say lamely, “Hi.”
“Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?” I laugh and take his hand. He flinches and tenses up ever so slightly before he relaxes.
“No I am not an angel, but this might be heaven since so many of my prayers have been answered.”
“This must be heaven. You look like an angel.” I smile at him and stroke my thumb over his knuckles. “What’s your name?” My good mood and joy instantly disappears. What the hell does he mean? He knows me! I’m his damn wife! How can he not know me?! ‘He has a crack in his skull… It has caused some swelling to his brain.’ Oh dear God please don’t tell me Christian has memory loss. I get him back just to lose him again? What kind of torture is this? He’s wrong. This isn’t heaven. This is hell!
“It’s me, Anastasia. You know me,” I say in a placating voice.
“Anastasia,” he says reverently. “That’s beautiful.” He looks down at himself and asks the question I know is coming, but I am still hoping I’m wrong. “And who am I?” I let out a soft, tortured cry and close my eyes as I feel the tears gather in them. I feel his hand on my face and his thumbs stroke away my tears. “Please Angel. Don’t cry.” How can I not when my man has been taken from me? I look at him and stroke my hand down his cheek. I have to be strong. We will get through this, but someone has to keep a level head. I have to help him. I send up one last prayer. Oh please, please bring him back to me.
I open my eyes and all I can see is brilliant light. I squint against it and I see movement to my right. I look over and I see a lovely woman surrounded by the bright light. She yawns and stretches and then turns her gaze to me and lets out a quick, but loud squeal. Her eyes are magnificent. The most beautiful shade of blue. She must be an angel. That would explain the light. I am in heaven. There is no better place for me to be than right here with this beautiful angel. Me? I rack my brain, but I can’t exactly pinpoint who I even am. That’s strange. Or at least I believe it is. There is nothing in my brain except words. No pictures, no voices, no… memories. Am I supposed to have memories? I stare at this ethereal creature and I wonder what I should say to her. I would like to know about myself, but how does one address an angel? She is holy so I should be respectful. But before I can speak she says, “Hi,” rather softly. Huh. That’s not what I expected.
“Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?” Damn! I’m supposed to be respectful! How it must look for me to just blurt questions at her when she has greeted me so kindly. I want to apologize, but then she laughs and it is pure music. She reaches out and takes my hand and I almost lift it to my lips, but I force myself to relax.
“No I am not an angel, but this might be heaven since so many of my prayers have been answered.”
But that doesn’t make sense. “This must be heaven. You look like an angel.” She gives me a dazzling smile and strokes my hand. I can hold back my questions no longer. “What’s your name?” Her smile drops away and I mentally kick myself. I must have offended her. Maybe humans aren’t supposed to know the names of their angels. Or should I know her name already? How do I tell her that I don’t remember it? That I don’t remember anything?
“It’s me, Anastasia. You know me.” But I don’t know her.
“Anastasia,” I repeat. It is so divine, so… heavenly. “That’s beautiful.” I look myself over and I am banged up pretty badly. How did I get here? Where is here if it is not heaven and who am I? I decide that it can’t hurt to ask. “And who am I?” She begins to cry and I feel like shit immediately for having caused her pain. I wipe away her tears and say, “Please Angel. Don’t cry.” She looks up at me and seems to have an internal struggle with herself before making her features appear much more brave and strong.
“I have to step out for a moment. I’ll be right back.”
She starts to get up, but I grab her hand. “Please don’t leave me here alone,” I beg her. I have no clue where or who I am and she makes me feel calm. She strokes my cheek.
“I’ll send someone to sit with you until I come back. I won’t be gone long I promise.” She slides her hand away and that’s when I see it. There is a huge diamond ring on her left hand. My heart falls from my chest. She is married. I wanted to know her, to worship her, but she is tied to another. I curse myself. She is an angel. Her husband is probably a god. I am drawn from my thoughts when I see her stand. So they are expecting? I want to cry. Maybe if I had woken up sooner… I am drawn from my thoughts when a man walks through the door. She says a few quiet words to him and his face changes from impassive to complete and utter shock. He looks at her as if she has lost her mind. She motions him over and then she leaves. Once she is gone it is as if the light has gone with her and suddenly it is not so bright anymore. I look around and see that I am in a very stately room with an amazing view. The man comes and removes the cot and places a chair in the spot instead. He sits and looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment.
“Mrs. Grey tells me that you’ve lost your memory sir. Is that true?”
“Who is Mrs. Grey?”
He clears his throat. “Anastasia, your wife.” The heart that recently vacated my chest has now leapt into my throat. She is my wife? She’s pregnant with my child? I have gone from nothing to everything in only ten minutes. “I’m sorry sir. I probably shouldn’t have said that. You probably aren’t ready for that kind of information just yet.” He rubs the back of his neck and looks even more uncomfortable if that is possible.
“It’s quite alright. Who are you?”
“I’m Taylor sir. Jason Taylor. I am head of your security team.”
“I have a security team? Why?”
“Well you are a very wealthy man Mr. Grey and you need protection from people who may want to threaten you or your family.”
“Family? There is more than just Anastasia and the child she carries?”
“Yes there is, but I should probably let Mrs. Grey explain everything to you herself.”
“Could you tell me what my first name is?”
“It’s Christian.” How fitting. Anastasia walked in with another woman who was older but still very beautiful. Is she also an angel?
“Christian—“ She stops and shame crosses her face. “Your first name is Christian. I guess I should have answered you when you asked. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
She clears her throat and says, “Well this is Grace.” The woman sticks out her hand and shakes the one that is not in a sling. She is holding back tears and I wonder who this woman is to me. “Grace works here at the hospital as a pediatrician.” She swallows before she says, “She is also your mother.” I look back at Grace. She smiles kindly at me and I feel warmth spread in my chest. I smile back.
“Oh sweetheart. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.” She is now sobbing and the man, Taylor, is holding on to her. I seem to make everyone upset. She excuses herself to the bathroom and Taylor goes back outside. Ana sits in the chair that he has vacated. I look at her. I know it is rude of me to stare at her the way that I am, but I cannot look away. Something about her calls to me. There is an energy between us that is so strong I am surprised I can’t see it.
“Angel, may I ask you something?”
“Are there more children in our family besides the one on the way?”
She looks at me surprised. “How do you know that this is your child?”
“Taylor told me that we are married.”
She deflates and her face loses its light. What will it take for me to make her laugh again? “Maybe you should get a little more information about your life before we talk about us.”
“But I want to know all about us. How did a creature so ethereal come to be mine?”
“I’m just a regular person.”
“Do we have more children?” There. Point blank. I want to know. She stares at me for a long while before she sighs and finally gives in.
“We have a son. His name is Theodore Raymond Grey. He is named after your grandfather and my stepfather. We call him Ted, Teddy, or Teddy Bear.”
“How old is he?”
“He just turned two.”
“When can I see him?”
“Christian I don’t think that’s a very good idea. He won’t know how to react when his daddy doesn’t know who he is.”
I am about to argue when Grace comes back in. I wonder if I should call her mom. “Do you think it is wrong for me to see my son?”
She blinks in surprise. “Well no it isn’t wrong, but you should wait. Christian you don’t even know what you look like. You don’t know anything about yourself. How are you going to interact with Teddy if you don’t know the first thing about him?”
“How can I learn what it is I need to know if I don’t see him?” I am becoming irritated. Why is everyone against me? I try a different tact. “What if I never remember? You can’t keep him from me forever.” I regret it almost instantly when Ana begins to cry.
“Don’t say that!” She wails at me. “You will remember!” She cries harder.
“Angel. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I merely meant to make a point. It is possible that I may not gain my memory back. What will we do then? I have to know him and get the chance to love him as well.”
“I know that Christian, but you should at least know more about him before you meet him. He will not understand any of this so we have to act normal to keep from hurting his feelings.”
“I will try my best and if I run into trouble then you’ll help me Angel.” I grab her hand and that energy is back. That surge of electricity that is between us. It feels so good, so right. The door to the room opens and a woman with blonde hair steps in carrying a small child. The boy’s head pops up and he squeals in delight.
“Mama! Daddy!” He wiggles out of the woman’s arms and climbs onto the bed.
“Looks like we’re being put to the test sooner than I thought,” Ana mutters.
I look at the little boy and I know that he is Teddy. My son. He has my angel’s eyes, but other than that he looks nothing like her. What I am staring at must be the mirror image of myself. What do I say to him? He wraps his tiny arms around my neck and lays on my chest. He doesn’t move nor does he talk. He just lies there. I look at my angel, but she is staring at him with tears in her eyes. I look back down at the small child and I wrap my arm around him and pull him close to me. I press a kiss to the top of his head. I look at Ana again and then down at her stomach and I smile. I slept in disoriented darkness and I woke up with a family. I close my eyes and send up a silent prayer of thanks and then one small request. Please let me remember them.